- Men’s ice hockey crushes Colgate, 4-1
- Men’s basketball falls to Brown in non-conference finale
- Fall Sports Awards
- Health center implements new policy for spring 2017
- Quinnipiac men’s ice hockey drops third straight, 4-1 to Princeton
- Serving up tradition
- Anne Dichele appointed as Interim Dean of the School of Education
- Got the finals freak outs?
- Dog Finals benefits students by reducing stress levels
- The Chronicle’s top ten news stories in 2016
WRECK: ‘Hot Problems’ video goes viral
If you haven’t seen the video “Hot Problems” yet, don’t. Your ears will bleed. Over 8.6 million people have viewed this piece of garbage and virtually all of them regret it—just look at the dislike bar on YouTube for proof.
The user, OldBaileyProductions, released this conceited music video of two teenage girls singing in a monotone voice, “Hot girls we have problems, too / we’re just like you / except we’re hot.” This chorus repeats five times in three minutes of torture at its purest form.
As the girls sing, they somehow manage to contort their bodies in the least sexy way possible, while awkwardly seated in the back of a limo — alone. No friends, no partying, no guys, nothing. Atrocious doesn’t even begin to cover the vocals, dancing, cinematography and lyrics. There is genuinely no possible way to praise any aspect of this video.
Remember William Hung who sang “She Bangs” during an audition for American Idol a few years back? If by some disturbing twist fate Mr. Hung and Rebecca Black were to have a romp in the bedroom and produce two daughters, this is exactly how they would turn out.
As the song finishes, the girls turn to each other and go “Just kidding…we’re perfect.” No. You’re cocky and you suck at singing. Give me my three minutes back. –S. Kozlowski