Sex with an ex?

By on October 5, 2011

DEAR LOVELY RITA: My ex and I broke up about three weeks ago, but we keep going back for breakup sex. He’s really good in bed, which is why we keep having sex even though we aren’t in a relationship anymore. Is it healthy to keep shagging even though we broke up awhile ago? – Single and Laid

DEAR SINGLE AND LAID: I can’t say with any authority what is considered a “healthy” or “unhealthy” sex life after a breakup, especially if you and your partner were in a serious relationship.

Let me tell you an anecdote that might help you. I broke up with a long-term boyfriend and then we continued to have pretty amazing breakup sex. But that often led to fights because there were still many strings attached. In one instance, we got back together and broke up in a string of ups and downs over the course of a couple of months.

The mixed feelings that you and your partner share will probably affect your sexy time in a negative way. If you do decide to continue your bed-squeaking activities, your feelings will strengthen, thus making the emotional state for both of you a strain. This will probably continue until you and your partner have either a Day of Atonement or a relationship apocalypse.

The point of that story is, continuing to have sex with your ex will only extend both of your unhappy states until something gives. And boy, something’s always gotta give. – Lovely Rita

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DEAR LOVELY RITA: Is it true that someone can be allergic to semen? Sometimes when I’m with my boyfriend and his semen gets on my skin, that part gets red and puffy. I’m embarassed to go to Health Services because I don’t want to tell them why I got the rash in the first place. – Itchy

DEAR ITCHY: Yep, it’s true that you can develop an allergy to semen, as it were. You can react with anything from a rash (which it sounds like you’ve got) to downright anaphylactic shock, believe it or not. According to the Health Services at University of Columbia website, you could have human seminal plasma protein hypersensitivity, which means you are sensitive to a certain protein in human semen. It’s even possible to only be allergic to a certain person’s seminal protein, according to the website.

If all you get is a rash and nothing more, don’t worry about it. Just slap on some anti-itch cream and keep strokin’ whatever you’re strokin’. – Lovely Rita

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DEAR LOVELY RITA: How many days can I go in between shaving before my new boyfriend will notice? I’m a blonde and don’t have a lot of leg hair usually. – Blondie

DEAR BLONDIE: It depends how prickly your legs get, and how easygoing your new beau is. A day or two on a lighthaired person will go unnoticed, if he doesn’t rub you the wrong way, literally. After that, see how far you can take it before you break down and shave. If you look and feel like a Yeti, maybe it’s time. – Lovely Rita

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Disclaimer: The Sex on Fire advice column is kept anonymous to avoid violating the privacy of the author.

 

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