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Making a move
DEAR LOVELY RITA: I met this guy when I went out one night and we’ve continued to talk after. He broke up with his girlfriend at the beginning of the year, but he’s moved on.
We snuggle all the time and kiss, but he never wants to get more intimate or take it to the next level. How long should I wait for him to man up? – Confused over California
DEAR CONFUSED OVER CALIFORNIA: It sounds as if you’re looking for something a little more tangible between you two. But even though you say he’s moved on, from what you’ve said it doesn’t sound like he has. It sounds as if he’s having commitment issues, at least in his head. Either that or he’s too shy to go further. You’re going to have to make a move on this on if you ever want to get jiggy with it with him.
Try gauging his body’s reaction when you make a sexy move (of your choice). If he’s into it, he’s a keeper. If he gets weird about it or says he doesn’t want to get more serious, forget him: there are other grapes in the bunch. – Lovely Rita
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DEAR LOVELY RITA: As many people experience here in college, I like a girl in my lab and don’t know how to go about transitioning from striking up conversations through questions about class to something more.
While we are not partners in the lab, we’ve talked every week about the assignments, but I am not sure how to go from, “how did you answer this” to “do you want go hang out or meet up for dinner?” – Science Geek
DEAR SCIENCE GEEK: The good news is you’ve already broken the ice with some (hopefully) suave and intelligent discussions about lab assignments so you should be on her radar. There’s a couple of ways to go about this.
First, you could send her a Facebook message or chat (I’m assuming you’re FB friends with this chick, if not, friend her right now and then finish reading this). But that’s kind of a cop-out because it avoids face-to-face interaction, which is always crucial when determining if a girl is into you or not.
Or, you could casually ask for her number next time you see her, using something lab-related as an excuse. Or, you could straight up ask her at the end of class “hey I’m going to grab a coffee, could I interest you?” or some pickup line that isn’t particularly cheesy but not overly intense.
Chances are, she’ll be flattered you asked her out and probably say yes. – Lovely Rita
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DEAR LOVELY RITA: How do I get my guy to cuddle more after sex? He always wants to get up right away and shower and I want some time just to relax with him. – Affectionate
DEAR AFFECTIONATE: All you have to do is tell him. It’s that simple. You can try something cute or clever, sarcastic or romantic, whatever works for your relationship. If he has a thing about showering after sex, suggest that you try showering together after you cuddle for a time. That would make you both happy, trust me. – Lovely Rita
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Disclaimer: The Sex on Fire advice column is kept anonymous to avoid violating the privacy of the author.