Sex on Fire: Blow jobs don’t make babies

By on September 7, 2011

Dear Lovely Rita: I need to switch my birth control pill for a couple of reasons, but I just wanted to know if there’s going to be a gap or something when the birth control won’t work when I’m in the process of switching them. – Hormonal

Dear Hormonal: It’s all in the timing, as playwright David Ives would say. As you probably already know, taking your BC pill around the same time every day is the best way to make sure it’s always working at its greatest potential, it’s a fact of life that your gyno probably told you when she prescribed you the BC in the first place.

So the same rule applies if you’re switching it up: As long as you finish your last pack (the placebos) and start up the new pack of the new pill at the same time the next day, you shouldn’t have any problems. That being said, being extra cautious around that time if you do decide to get frisky with your partner couldn’t hurt. – Lovely Rita

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Dear Lovely Rita: Is it true that you can get pregnant from giving head? – Maybe I Shouldn’t Swallow

Dear Maybe I Shouldn’t Swallow: Totally not true. After all, to get pregnant you need sperm, which a guy makes plenty of  (sometimes all over the bed) when getting his johnson sucked. But in addition to that sperm, you need a nearby egg to well, mate with.

That being said, you can still get a sexually transmitted infection from giving a guy a blowjob, because bacterial infections like gonorrhea love warm, moist places.  “And if you touch each other, you will get chlamydia, and die.”

OK, that last sentence was just a reference to Mean Girls, but in all seriousness, the bottom line is you can get STIs from giving head, just not knocked up. – Lovely Rita

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Dear Lovely Rita: I get super horny when I’m on my period. Is it gross if I want to have sex? – Hot on the Rag

Dear Hot on the Rag: This act, affectionately known as “running the red light,” is only gross if you think it’s gross. If you’re horny and you want to get it on with your partner, there’s absolutely nothing physically stopping you — not even your period. Some recommendations include using towels, the entirely pleasurable shower sex, and any kind of sex position where you’re lying down (you’ll usually bleed less).

Just keep in mind not to use that time as a hall pass, you can always get pregnant if you decide to dance the horizontal tango at any time of the month. – Lovely Rita

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Disclaimer: Last week’s, this week’s and subsequent editions of Sex on Fire are kept anonymous to avoid violating the privacy of the author. Medical information in this column is accurate and the Chronicle editorial board is not liable for any damages.

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