Are we too connected to build good relationships?

By on January 26, 2011

I will never ask a girl out through a text message or online chat. And no, I’m not stupid or cheesy enough to ask a girl out in a newspaper column. It must be face-to-face.

This is why it’s time to stop ignoring those in the same room as you by chatting online and texting. These communication methods are only distracting us.

I’m guilty of texting while having a meal with someone in the café. Yes, guilty. Not only is it distracting, but it’s also a sign of disrespect. While you are staring at your phone, you are unintentionally sending this message to your lunch partner: “Sorry, the person I’m texting is more important to me than you are.”

As much as it hurts to admit it, our professors are right too. When we text in class we’re sending a message to our teachers: “I’d rather be somewhere else right now.”

Don’t text in class. Rather, open your ears and wake up. Not literally (I hope you aren’t falling asleep in the first week of classes), but try to make a friend or two. Then, just maybe, a study partner could become the person you’ve been waiting to meet your whole life. Alternatively, that study partner could introduce you to a friend who becomes your next boo.

Text while you’re on the move or when you have some time alone, but try and hold off when you could be interacting with people in person. As I said before, you should ask someone out face-to-face. Don’t blow an opportunity with your eyes attached to your phone’s screen. And definitely don’t just tell her what time it is like Fogell did in “Superbad.” (It only worked for him because he created the alter ego “McLovin,” of course, and that was just Hollywood. I tried.)

I blame social networks like Facebook for complicating relationships. Statistics don’t lie: One in five divorces involves Facebook, according to a recent survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.

Rich Hanley, assistant professor and director of the graduate journalism program and journalism professor at Quinnipiac University, put it beautifully in an article from the New Haven Register.

“Dating is a tension convention anyway,” he said. “The Facebook imperative to add your relationship status adds to the stress.”

My New Year’s resolution: pay more attention to those in the same room as me, and less with those on my phone or computer. Who knows, an opportunity could arise to ask someone out, share a few laughs, and become more than just friends.

Comments

About Lenny Neslin

Editor-in-Chief
Email: editor@quchronicle.com
Twitter: @lsneslin
Year: 2012
Major: Print journalism
Hometown: Hanover, N.H.
Dream Job: Sports Illustrated Writer