Parent condemns ‘Ultimate prey’ mentality

By on September 22, 2010

It was shocking to read “Don’t become the ultimate prey” by Katie Krivitzky in the Chronicle on Thursday, September, 16.

On Sunday, September 12 at 1:30 a.m. I received a call from the Hospital of Saint Raphael that my daughter, a freshman at Quinnipiac, was in the ER for a sexual assault that occurred at Quinnipiac University. While reading Katie’s article I was about to throw up. This may have been my daughter!!! Written in such a cavalier fashion that she witnessed a freshman being taken advantage of by her PREDATOR friend, was beyond anything I could imagine. Did she know if the PREDATOR friend had heard the word “NO” and decided to “close the deal” anyway? How could you know that the girl that she saw being pursued by her friend did not want to “close the deal.” I have shared this article with other people since reading it and we all have come to the same conclusion. This is a travesty that being “that girl” in her sophomore year and seeing another freshman girl being taken advantage she wouldn’t not have somehow tried to take that girl under her wing–taken her back to her dorm and tried to help her. NO ONE wanted to help my daughter. NO ONE wants to believe my daughter, either. The emergency room doctor and the three other doctors that examined her after are all convinced 99% that she was a victim of sexual assault. Maybe Katie can relate to her PREDATOR friend that my daughter’s clothes are now in state evidence and the person that was responsible for this assault, whether her PREDATOR friend or not, will be found. If this wasn’t my daughter, the same assault occured on the same evening on the Quinnipiac campus to someone else. What a shame and a disgrace!!! I hope that if that wasn’t my daughter, that the girl felt comfortable enough with her parents to let them know that this happened to her and that her family will try to help her deal with this. To be violated by an upperclassman that thinks it is his right to take advantage of these freshman girls is disgusting. I had two sons that graduated from QU and I know that they did not take advantage of anyone and if anyone was in need of help from a PREDATOR that they would have stepped up to the plate and helped them–not gloat about it in an article in the Chronicle.

I was further appalled when my son, a graduate of Quinnipiac in 2008, told me that rape on campus happens all the time and that in his freshman year he had to pull a student off of a friend of his because she was being sexaully assaulted. Since reading this article I have heard of other girls at QU being sexually assaulted–amazing.

I am also amazed that having read this article the personnel, staff, as well as the editors of this newspaper have not looked into this further.

I wonder if this “PREDATOR” friend is still a friend of Katie’s?

-A DISILLUSIONED QU PARENT.

Comments

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9 Comments

  1. Kate

    September 22, 2010 at 8:19 pm

    Dear Disillusioned QU Parent,

    First let me say that I am so sorry for what happened to your daughter and hope that you and your family find justice and peace. I do feel, however, that your anger is misdirected. While I can understand your frustration after reading my article, I feel it is my duty to set the record straight. The girl in my article WAS NOT YOUR DAUGHTER. The girl in my article WAS NOT RAPED. The girl in my article WAS NOT IN ANY SORT OF PHYSICAL DANGER! I have always been the type of person to stand up for someone in need and if this girl had needed help, I absolutely would have helped her. The fact of the matter is that this girl was drunk, but very functioning. I did tell her that she should not refer to herself in such a demeaning manner and talked to her for quite some time that night. Although my friend is a teenage guy and was indeed looking to hook up, he would never and absolutely did not harm this girl in any way. If he had I can assure you he would not be my friend. He and the girl merely hooked up (kissed) that night.

    With all of that being said, I want to address the tone of my article. To be quite frank, I never intended this article to grab the attention of parents. My audience was intended to be students at Quinnipiac because the change that I was trying to evoke is right here on campus. I felt that if I was too serious or too condemning in the article that no one would read or listen to it because students want something humorous and intelligent at the same time. I believe that this article did in fact capture the attention of many people on campus and probably got alot of girls thinking. The purpose of the article was to try to help the girls, not gloat about anything. I believe I am a good person and am truly shocked at the hurtful and viscious way people have been responding towards me. You, or anyone else may not like the article, but there just isn’t enough information given to come to the conclusion that I am a bad person.

    So, again I am truly sorry for what your daughter had to endure and hope that she finds peace. Quinnipiac is a wonderful place and I hope she will eventually feel safe again here. I am also sorry if my article offended you. It was truly intended to help people. I hope this helps you understand my point of view a little bit better and to realize that I honestly meant no harm.

    Good luck with everything,

    Kate Krivitzky

  2. Kate

    September 22, 2010 at 8:22 pm

    P.S. I also wanted to add that the article was not supposed to be talking about sexual assault. I was referring more to the emotional repurcussions that many girls endure after falling for a guy who doesn’t really care about them. So, when I wrote the article sexual assault hadn’t even crossed my mind and I am sorry if the article came across to you in the wrong way.

  3. Darky Mark

    September 23, 2010 at 1:14 am

    so, disillusioned QU parent, if your sons told you girls get raped all the time here, how do you know your sons are not rapists?

  4. QUstudent

    September 23, 2010 at 10:27 am

    Darky Mark,
    Is that really what you are going to get out of this article? Why don’t you read it again and look at the bigger picture. Although i doubt they are that is not even relevant.

  5. Judy Krivitzky

    September 25, 2010 at 9:29 am

    This is in response to the letter from the mother of the QU assault victim. First, let me say that my heart goes out to this mother and her daughter; no one should suffer the trauma of sexual assault, and I pray that they find both the peace and justice they deserve. I am, however, extremely disappointed that she focused her anger on my daughter for her article entitled, The Ultimate Prey. In the article, my daughter recounts meeting a very drunk freshman girl who ultimately hooked up with a sophomore acquaintance of my daughter’s. The article then goes on to warn freshman girls that the upperclass boys they meet – especially while intoxicated – may not have the most honorable intentions. Unfortunately, her response to my daughter’s article is one of anger, blame and scorn; while her outrage is understandable, it is completely misplaced, and very unfair. The incident referred to in the article occurred on Thursday, Sept. 9th, and the freshman girl mentioned was not, in fact, sexually assaulted; had my daughter believed that the girl in the article was in any type of real danger, I am confident that she would have acted immediately. Kate is an intelligent, independent and thoughtful young woman, of whom I am extremely proud; she is someone who stands up for what she believes in, even when her cause is unpopular.
    The article is an honest, unvarnished account of an unfortunate, but common campus scenario, and is intended as a cautionary tale; it warns naïve young freshman that when they drink to excess, they not only look foolish, put themselves at risk emotionally. The article had nothing to do with sexual assault, and had everything to do with exposing the way certain upperclass boys take advantage of freshman “naivete.” Most of these boys are not looking for a long-term commitment, but instead are hoping for a one-night hook-up. In other words, they want to fool around, but have no real intention of ever seeing the girls again. While that is certainly distasteful, and even disgusting, it does not necessarily constitute sexual assault.
    I genuinely appreciate the anger and frustration felt by this mother; however, she misunderstood the intention of the article, and incorrectly focused her rage on the wrong person. Criticizing Kate because of misconstrued information is one thing, but to accuse my daughter of condoning, and then gloating about a sexual assault, simply goes too far.

    • Judy Krivitzky

      April 25, 2011 at 8:54 pm

      Wow, Jillian, you have redefined the word “classless”; I sincerely hope your own mother never reads the nasty, crass remarks you left regarding Kate. Oh, wait, she can’t read your remarks, because you haven’t fully identified yourself. It’s awfully easy to spew hatred and venom while hiding behind the mask of relative anonymity. As for reevaluating the pride I feel for my daughter – thanks for the tip, but that won’t be necessary. Kaitlyn has shared much of her freshman year experiences with me, and, in fact, wrote this article precisely because she wanted to warn other girls against making the same errors in judgement that she had made. I am proud that she acknowledged her mistakes, and wanted to make a difference by writing this article. I feel very sorry for you, Jillian, you sound like a sad and bitter person who needs to reevaluate her own morality and judgement.

  6. Jillian

    October 20, 2010 at 11:23 pm

    … You really had to have your mom come to your aide and try to defend you? Could this situation be any more sad? Just go back to being that drunken slut you were freshman year, Kaitlyn. If only your mom knew about some of THOSE stories that are still floating around campus.

    As for being “extremely proud” of your daughter, Mrs. Krivitzky, I’d seriously consider reevaluating that statement.

    • erin hodgson

      October 21, 2010 at 12:51 pm

      Jillian, it is one thing to disagree with a point made in an opinions article. The whole purpose of the opinions section is to provoke thought and discussion. But mounting a personal attack against the author of such an editorial is entirely inappropriate and classless. I’ve written editorials before, and it takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there and expose your thoughts. To attack her personally (let alone to attack her MOTHER, who is acting as any mother would and protecting her daughter) is incredibly small of you.
      You can disagree with the points made in her editorial if you wish (although many of the issues people had with it she addresses in her above comment as being misunderstandings due to the vagueness of the story about the boy who “sealed the deal”), but please limit yourself to disagreeing with the written work. This is not the forum to air your personal grievances with the author.

    • Judy Krivitzky

      April 25, 2011 at 8:55 pm

      Wow, Jillian, you have redefined the word “classless”; I sincerely hope your own mother never reads the nasty, crass remarks you left regarding Kate. Oh, wait, she can’t read your remarks, because you haven’t fully identified yourself. It’s awfully easy to spew hatred and venom while hiding behind the mask of relative anonymity. As for reevaluating the pride I feel for my daughter – thanks for the tip, but that won’t be necessary. Kaitlyn has shared much of her freshman year experiences with me, and, in fact, wrote this article precisely because she wanted to warn other girls against making the same errors in judgement that she had made. I am proud that she acknowledged her mistakes, and wanted to make a difference by writing this article. I feel very sorry for you, Jillian, you sound like a sad and bitter person who needs to reevaluate her own morality and judgement