The Weekly Peeve

By on April 22, 2009

Over the next few weeks, every time you walk down Dorm Road to get to class, you will be greeted with an unpleasant stench. Don’t bother looking under your shoe for the culprit of the smell. Rather, look up.

Those trees that line the road across from the Bobcat Den and down near Larson are the guilty party. They don’t smell like trees at all. There is no crisp, springtime smell wafting from the blooming flowers and nubile leaves. Instead, we’re stuck with the stench of – well – a stinky fish. I’ve also heard it described as smelling like a certain part of the female anatomy.

It’s really terrible and for any freshman preparing for the “Stinky Tree” season at Quinnipiac, I implore you to prepare yourself. Go out and buy those facemasks that surgeons wear. It’s your only hope.

You really have no idea how bad they are. Some days, when you walk under them heading to class, there is no smell at all. You thank your lucky stars on days like that. Then, while walking to back to your dorm, it reeks like high hell.

It’s pretty funny to watch students scurry down the majority of Dorm Road as they try to avoid the stink seeping into the fibers of their clothes, subjecting them to hours of the odor following them wherever they go.

Sure, the trees are beautiful. They really make it look like spring time here at Quinnipiac. But aren’t there trees that look beautiful and don’t smell like I just strolled into a tuna fish factory?

Wasn’t the “blooming tang” researched before the school dropped a pretty penny on these putrid trees? Did they not look into the effects of subjecting their students to this fetid vegetation?

If someone happened to take a match to these trees, I wouldn’t be sad. That foliage is one scar on the face of this QU campus. The school has done a spectacular job with buildings, layout and all that. The landscaping, outside of these terrible trees, is remarkable.

You might say that one mistake shouldn’t be highlighted. Just wait until you smell them.

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