Dear Alicia

By on April 2, 2008

I’ve been at Quinnipiac for the past four years and have the best group of friends I could ask for. Since graduation is coming up, I’m getting nervous, not just for finding a job but also staying in contact with my friends. How can I make sure we don’t lose touch?

From Nervous Senior


Dear Nervous Senior,

Senior year is so bitter-sweet. At the same time as being proud of yourself that you made it this far and are actually graduating, you become a nervous-wreck about moving on to the next phase in your life. The thing is; the next phase in life could still include your friends from this phase.

Believe me; you are not alone in your thoughts. I have also been worried about leaving my group of friend as well. I have bonded with these people for four years. I have lived with them, partied with them, studied with them, cried with them and even fought with them. and I will never give them up.

From the looks of your question, you aren’t ready to give your friends up either and that’s a great thing. The first step is realizing that you do have great friends and the close bond you feel is a shared bond. As close and connected you feel towards them is the same feeling they have towards you.

I have always believed that the friends you make in college are going to be your friends forever, and to make that happen there are three things you need to avoid so your friendships stay intact.

First is to never let busy schedules be an excuse. You will be busy with starting a new job and getting your ‘new phase’ on track. Everyone will be busy and everyone will be starting new jobs. Maybe you won’t have time to pick up the phone every single day and call every single one of your friends, but you need to find time to drop an email, send a text message or make an actual phone call. Keeping in touch during your busy schedule will become easier once you get into the swing of your new life.

Also after college, significant others start to become a big part of life, which could end up as an obstacle for a friendship. One thing that I am worried about is starting a life with my boyfriend and forgetting about the people who got me through these last four years of college. I am going to make sure that the couple scene does not lack me slack off in the friendship department. Keep yourself and your friends on track. Remember that friendships are one of the most important relationships someone could ever have in their lifetime, and yes, significant others mean a lot, but friendships like college friendships, you can never let die.

And the last thing is distance. You have been living in close quarters with these people. You basically saw them everyday, which is now going to turn into maybe seeing them every few months. Do not worry about this and do not look at this as a problem.

It takes one person to pick up the phone and make a plan. My suggestion here is to plan specific dates. Plan it out all together to make sure everyone is able to come. Plan it so that no one could back out. Plan it and be as specific as possible. Do not say, “Let’s get together in three weeks. I’ll call you soon to set it up.” Instead say, “So, I have off next Friday and Monday, maybe you can take off so we can go to Atlantic City together for a long weekend.” Things might not always work out the way you want them to, but eventually you will all be able to get together.

Okay, so keep in mind that the bonds you made with your friends are strong and aren’t going to be easy for anyone to break. Have confidence in yourself and your friends that you all will keep in touch and stay connected. Don’t let other aspects of life get in the way and remember, every friend is just a phone call away.


About Alicia Staffa