Dear Alicia

By on March 5, 2008

I am afraid that one of my friends might have a drinking problem. I don’t want to act like her mother, but I worry about her. With spring break next week, I am really excited to go away with her and some other friends, but I am nervous that it will get out of control. How can I talk to my friend about keeping herself in control without sounding like I am nagging her?

From motherly friend


Dear motherly friend,

Let me start off with saying that one of my best friends calls me Mamalicia because I am always worried about everyone and basically act like the mother at times.

Yes, I try to tone it down; because I definitely am not ready to be a mother yet, but sometimes I know that my friends appreciate it and feel safe when I am around.

So think of your ‘motherly’ ways as something that is good for your friends. It is always nice knowing that someone cares about you and worries about you.

You can even approach your friend stating how much you care about her and this is why you are approaching her with this controversial topic.

Spring break is a week to go crazy, let loose and not worry about classes or any drama and drinking is a very big part of it for college students, especially because most popular places for spring break have a drinking age of 18.

I have been on spring break for three years in a row and let me tell you, if you think things are crazy in New Haven, you will not even believe what spring break has to offer.

It is supposed to be a crazy fun time, but you also need to be cautious and safe and realize that you are in practically an unknown place.

If you really believe that your friend has a drinking problem, you should definitely talk to her before the break.

You need to approach her and be very straight forward. I might have a tendency of telling people to be blunt, but I feel that it really is the best way to go about with a situation like this.

Tell her that you aren’t trying to hurt her feelings or put a damper on her spring break, but you worry that she might get a bit out of control and you are concerned.

Explain to her that you want to enjoy spring break with her, not worrying about her.

Make sure she understands that you want her to have an amazing time on spring break, but it is sort of scary thinking about something bad happening that is alcohol-related in a country that you are not familiar with.

If you are very good friends, hopefully she will understand where you are coming from. Just remember to not be rude or too bossy. If you are, she might automatically get defensive and think you don’t trust her.

As I said before, being ‘motherly’ could be a good thing, but a bossy mother is never liked. Show her that you care about her and you worry, but at the same time as being her college friend. Have fun on spring break and make the best out of it all!


About Alicia Staffa