Dear Alicia

By on February 13, 2008

“It is my second semester here at Quinnipiac and I am having problems finding my ‘clique’. I feel as though I am completely opposite from my roommates. I thought this semester would be easier and I’d meet more people like me but I haven’t. What should I do?
From A little different
Dear A little different,

You have to give it time. You are in a new place, dealing with a new lifestyle and all new people. Sometimes it is hard to find people like you because you are still finding out who you are.
I had a rough freshman year also. My problem was that I felt lonely from the start so I never opened myself up to people. I just thought that people should come to me and want to be my friend but they didnt. I found out the hard way that I needed to put myself out there.
You also need to make sure you are completely yourself and you are open to others ideas and feelings. Everyone is different, but different is good.
You might be nothing like your roommates but you can learn something from them and they can learn something from you.
I was placed in a room my freshman year with three girls very different from myself. We had many problems, many disagreements and many arguements, but in the end we made it work out.
We gave each other a chance bacause we realized that we were all from different places, different backgrounds and different groups but that was the good thing about college and freshman year.
I learned more about myself and life from my freshman year roommates then I could have imagined. One of them is still my very best friend.
Also remember that your roommates do not need to become your ‘clique’. Yes I made my roommate situation work out for the best and so can you, but my ‘clique’ came around about this time of year.
My next door neighbor knew a girl down the hall, who loved her roomate, who knew someone from the floor below, who then knew this other girl and the friendships just continued.
I never thought it would work out like that but it did. I also never knew that the friends I met second semester freshman year would still be my best friends and my college ‘clique’ today.
Stay open minded while trying to find a group of friends. Sometimes it just falls into place other times you need to work at it.
Talk to people in class, in your hall, in other residence halls, even in the library. The more people you talk to, the more chance you have to find people who you know you can be yourself around.
Do not change for anyone. Freshman year is tough, tougher for some, but this is the year where you can find out who you are as well as what kind of friends you want in your life.
Do not give up. Sooner or later, you will find that one person, or those few people who make you feel confident and proud to be who you are.


About Alicia Staffa