Dear Alicia

By on October 24, 2007

I have been with my girlfriend for about a year now. We have a very healthy relationship and I trust her completely. I know she would never cheat on me, but there is one of her guy friends who constantly hits on her. It makes me mad because he knows I am her boyfriend and it seems like he does not care. What should I do?

From enraged boyfriend

Okay, so this guy is basically a jerk but the main point is that you trust your girlfriend. A year is a long time to be in a relationship at such a young age and first, I want to congratulate you on that. Second, this is just another little obstacle that you are going to have to face in the relationship world.

I think you should take it as a compliment. He wants her, but you have her. Do not let this guy affect your relationship with your girlfriend. He is not worth it. Since this has been happening for a while now, my advice would be to confront him. Tell him that he is being very disrespectful and that you and your girlfriend are happy. Explain that you understand they are friends but how his flirting makes it seem like he wants more than only a friendship with her, which he can’t have.

I actually had to deal with this once. My boyfriend had a very close friend and the minute I met her I did not trust her. I would feel awkward every time he said he was going to hang out with her or be in the same vicinity as her. It got to the point where I was fighting with him because of her. I decided to confront her and she laughed in my face and said she would act however she wanted around my boyfriend.

If confronting this guy doesn’t work out, you need to talk to your girlfriend about it. She needs to know how uncomfortable you feel about the situation and you also need to explain to her why you confronted him. Make sure she understands that it is not a trust issue between the two of you; it is the disrespectful factor of it. You have been together for a year, so I am pretty sure she will be sympathetic to your feelings.

After my confrontation with the girl didn’t go so well, I told my boyfriend, who became furious after hearing what she said to me. He found out she wanted him as more than a friend and that she wanted to do anything in her power to break us up. (Some people are just vicious).

I don’t think you should give her an ultimatum but at the same time, you already approached the guy and that didn’t work, so now she needs to do something about it for you and your relationship to stay healthy. My boyfriend, on his own, stopped talking to his friend, because she wasn’t a good friend to him after all.

In the end, the most important thing is your relationship. Remember, for a relationship to stay healthy you both need to support each other, trust each other and try to understand where the other is coming from. In this situation, you need to work together. It will all work out the way it is supposed to.



About Alicia Staffa