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Cracking the cheating code
Upon entering into a relationship, the last thing the couple might think about is cheating or getting cheated on. Many students can tell you that they know people who have been involved in such situations, but just what makes cheating so common?
“I think cheating is more common for people in college because they have more opportunity and they feel that they can use being drunk as an excuse to try and get away with it,” sophomore Heather Rieseck said.
Another theory is that people cheat to fulfill a need for something they don’t find in their current relationship.
“People cheat because it creates excitement that they probably are lacking in their relationship,” sophomore Sara Giangiobbe said. “To some people it is just such a rush to have that kind of secret in your head.”
She also adds that individuals with such desires might not be suited to life as a couple. “If [some]one needs that kind of rush maybe they shouldn’t be in a relationship at all because it’s more of a game to them than anything serious,” Giangiobbe said.
Some also subscribe to the idea that there is a “right” person for everyone and are just dating someone now to hold them over until their soulmate comes into the picture. In this case, according to students, it is not unusual for individuals cheat.
Students also say that cheating physically with someone is more easily defined while “emotional cheating” raises some question. “Saying things like ‘you’re really attractive. I’d love to be with you if I didn’t have a girlfriend’ is considered cheating along with flirting,” sophomore Alyson Adler said.
Sophomore Hunter Mandel, on the other hand, thinks that a little flirtacious behavior is acceptable. “I think flirting is normal and should be [present] in a relationship,” he said. “If you keep your partner locked off from other people, she or he is going to lose interest in you.”
When asked which type of cheating is more difficult to deal with, the votes are split.
“Physical cheating is worse,” Giangiobbe said. “Your partner is actually being with someone else, not just talking with another person.”
Mandel said that “emotional [cheating] hurts a lot more than physical because when you lose the emotion for your partner and have it for someone else, it is 100 times worse than physically cheating.”
Many relationships end in a breakup once cheating is involved. One student said, “I believe that once a person cheats, that’s it, the end of a relationship. No matter how long the relationship has been going on, the trust is lost.”
But some disagree. “You can fix the relationship but you have to be really committed,” sophomore Andrea Celetti said. “You need to have a lot of forgiveness.”
The fact that someone cheats, even one time, might be a sign that the behavior will continue in future relationships. Even so, there is still the chance that the person is simply awaiting the arrival of Mr. or Ms. Right.
“Based on my own experiences I feel that once you cheat, you always will cheat.” sophomore Jasmine Vega said.
Adler agreed saying, “I think people cheat for different reasons but when you find true love there is no need to cheat.”