- SGA releases 2018-19 election results
- Public Safety Officer Invents ‘Hooked on Baby’
- Get Cultured
- Health center to host group therapy sessions
- Students’ families displaced after Massachusetts fires on Thursday
- Poppin’ fall films
- Serena’s struggle with sexism
- Local Hot Spot: Roost
- AJR burned Fall Fest down
- Flint takes the stage
Through the looking glass
NO WAY THE COPS
WILL EVER CATCH US, MAN
A group of young men drove like maniacs through Sockburn, New Zealand, burning rubber, making 360-degree spins, and narrowly avoiding a head-on collision with another car before crashing into a tree. To make matters worse, their friends videotaped the escapade and posted the tape on the Internet. The car’s license plate was clearly visible, simplifying the job of law enforcement officials.
IS THERE A PROBLEM,
A man came to court in Benton, Ark., came to court to appeal his second drunken driving conviction. He showed up drunk.
KA-BLAM! KA-BLAM! OUCH!
A man in Caboolture, Australia, agreed to shoot his friend’s cow after the animal became ill. He went out to the shed, took aim and fired. He missed. So he fired again. He missed again, but that time the bullet went through the wall and then through the door of a passing car, hitting a woman passenger in the leg.
The third shot did the job, but the shooter was so distressed at wounding the woman that he turned in his gun license.
AND HE DIDN’T
EVEN REMEMBER ME, SOB!
A young man donned a mask and went to rob a bank in Obermillstadt, Austria, not knowing that his high school sweetheart worked there. She recognized the man, who was her first love, by his blue eyes. After he fled with the money, she told the police who he was.
A PLEASURE DOING BUSINESS WITH YOU, LADIES
Two sisters in Australia went to court to dispute their mother’s will, in which their half-brother got most of the money. After a lengthy battle, they were awarded an extra $360,000. Their lawyers charged them $450,000 for their services.
WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, FINLAND!?
A Finnish woman, visiting Pushkar, India, took a naked swim in a lake that the locals consider holy, then walked, still in the nude, back to her hotel. Citizens were outraged. The police charged her with indecency.
REALITY’S A BUMMER, DUDE
A driver led police on a high-speed chase through three towns in New York. After finally being pulled over, he told the cops, “I’ve been playing a lot of Grand Theft Auto and NASCAR on PlayStation. I thought I could get away.”
NOW, DO YOU BELIEVE ME?
A nurse at an old folks home in Doddington, England, showed up at work one evening after drinking a bottle of vodka. She told her colleagues and some elderly residents that she had spent the afternoon sunbathing naked in her garden, then, to prove it, lifted her T-shirt and lowered her bra. She has been fired.
SURE, WE’LL BE RIGHT THERE
A man in Orlando, Fla., in an attempt to get back at a former woman friend, pretended to be a magistrate and showed up at her workplace to serve her a phony warrant. She wasn’t there.
When her skeptical co-workers challenged him, he made the mistake of calling the real police for backup. He was arrested.