Hot off the Press

By on November 9, 2005

Just as it’s nerve wracking to start a relationship, it’s also difficult to end one. Your status will change, life will be different and situations will be altered. It’s normal to fear how you will be able to make the adjustment, and you may therefore put off doing so altogether. However, when your precious sweetie is turning your life sour, it’s natural to reevaluate your arrangement.

Staying in a relationship for comfort, fear of letting go, and laziness to try other people is not only unhealthy for the couple as a whole, but also for the individual. All relationships require effort, but if it’s all work and no play, then it may be time to reconsider.

If you’re not truly happy with who you’re sharing your life with it would be a shame to waste time being displeased when you could just as easily feel satisfied.

Sometimes we don’t know what we want, and the decision of whether or not to stick with a relationship becomes overwhelming. The options may be clouded as all or nothing, and the risk of losing that important person in your life isn’t so appealing. However, staying in a relationship that isn’t working out is not fair to either of you.

When it comes to your partner, remember good and bad are a package deal, and unfortunately we don’t get to choose which parts of someone we want to keep. Everyone has components of their personality that don’t necessarily shine, but when you truly care about someone, their not-so-strong traits don’t matter as much, or can even make them seem more attractive.

Love is blind, and therefore, when you’re in it, you may be unable to truly see major controversies. It’s common to make excuses for your partner and cover up their flaws because they’re amazing in your eyes. But when problems occur, those adorable little quirks may seem so heightened that it’s unbearable to stay together any longer.

When you decide to end a relationship you’re changing your mind about something you once wanted, which can feel confusing and disappointing. It’s a let down when things don’t work out and we may feel like a poor judge of character when circumstances don’t have the happiest of endings.

It’s hard to know what the best solution will be because deciding to break up with someone forces you to look into the future and assume whether or not you’ll be happier without them. Apprehension about regretting your choice or making the wrong decision can also cause confusion. However, while it’s true that if relationships don’t ‘work out’ they end in a break up, this doesn’t mean it has to be marriage or misery.

Imagine your twosome as a snapshot. If you looked at a candid photo of you and your partner, what would it show? Would you be laughing, kissing and discussing a hot topic or arguing, yelling and feeling discouraged? Visualizing your relationship this way may help you discover if your situation is really picture perfect or just a bunch of negatives.


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