Blast From the Past: An exception to dating

By on September 28, 2005

Exes are in the past for a reason; but there was a time they were present for a reason Assuming you’re a decent judge of character, the person you were with had at least one or two good qualities drawing you to them. Therefore, even after a break up, you may find yourself missing their company.

All the heartache, pain and fights can suddenly be erased with the familiar scent of their eu de toilette and the sound of their laugh. We kick ourselves for being that easily manipulated by forces bigger than ourselves that lead us into the giant question mark of what the relationship’s status would or could be.

Maybe this time will be different, we think, hoping not to make the same mistake again. If we keep making the mistake, is there a chance that it’s not a mistake after all?

Chances are, if your reasons for breaking up were deeper than lack of physical attraction, chemistry will still exist. Therefore, you should not be surprised when feelings of nostalgia make you run for cover.

The important thing is differentiating between what you had versus what you have, and understanding both of those perceptions.

Meeting up with an old flame is not easy. They’ve seen you at your most vulnerable, which may make you feel a bit exposed. A natural desire to show them how well you’re doing without them in your life may set in as well. If anything, it’s flattering that both of you are still interested after all that time.

It’s natural to wonder the possibility of friendship with an ex, and if the relationship can have any substance on that level. If you’ve been apart for awhile, doing your own thing, when you reunite it can be a bit disorienting.

You had put their memories on a shelf in the back of your closet instead of on display for all to see, and wonder if you’re supposed to rearrange them. If you have a nice time together, it confuses the feelings of resentment you once felt. It may be hard to determine whether you are wrapped up in the comfort of familiarity or if maybe the timing really is better the next time around.

You took your heart off your sleeve and tucked it deep beneath you sweater, only to find it making a grand entrance in their presence. You have to decide if the good outweighs the bad, and if the new ‘you and them’ is in fact, improved. It’s best not to over analyze the situation and let it flow naturally. The best judge of your feelings is what you want at the time because it’s so honest and real.

So how do you know if it’s just comfort you are drawn to or if true love is in bloom?

Just follow your heart, it knows where to go.


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