She said; He said

By on March 4, 2004

Dear Shelly and Ricky-

I have been in a relationship for about two years and the only thing that is keeping me in is the fact that I am so comfortable with my girlfriend. My friends are telling me I should find someone else because the college years are suppose to be for experimentation, finding myself, and seeing what I really want in a person of the opposite sex.
Should I stay with my current girlfriend because I know I can get what I want or do you think I should leave the nest and find someone new?

– Mr. Experimentor

Dear Mr. Experimentor,

Do you always let other people’s opinions dictate your life? I do not mind dispensing the relationship advice, but do not you have an opinion of your own?
There has to be more about your girlfriend you appreciate besides the fact she is comfortable. I mean she is a human being, not a pair of sweatpants!
Do you care about her, do you appreciate the “little things” about her, do you like the way she makes you feel when you are around her?
There is a reason you like her, take the time to think this over.
Maybe your boys have a valid point. College is the time for experimentation, for new experiences and new people. Is being committed a new phenomenon for you? I believe this day of age, we as Americans are soo brain washed in satisfying our every wants, and in making the most out of everything we forget that life is not having it all.
Life; it is about being loved and loving another.
Am I hopeless romantic, not really. But I think you should think more about the consequences of your actions before you are coerced by your friends. Take a moment to think this one over.
Make your own decisions. Stop listening to others, but the voice inside.
In that case whatever the outcomes is, it was yours alone.

Best of Luck,


Dear Experimentor-

I am gunna go with leaving the nest on this one, and I will tell you why.
If after two years there is only one thing keeping you with your girlfriend, then its time to cut your losses and experience other things. The mere fact that you were inspired to write in, shows me that you are having your own doubts. Believe it or not your friends are giving you good advice.
While the college years should not necessarily be spent sewing your wild oats in every available….ah….field, they also should not be spent wasting your time being scared to end a long relationship for the mere fact that its “comfortable.”
I am not a fan of the idea that you should hedge your bets in relationships. I hear from people all too often that they are not truly happy with their relationship, but they are reluctant to end things for fear that they wont be able to find anything better.
Love is not a luke-warm medium. It works hot, fails cold, and slowly falls apart in the middle. Do not sell yourself short, go have some fun. If it is possible, try to keep things on good terms with your current girlfriend. I am sure after two years you two would benefit from maintaining a friendship.

~ Ricky


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