She said; He said

By on December 4, 2003

Dear Shelly and Ricky-

My life is kind of confusing right now. I hooked up with this really amazing guy, but I am not sure of his feelings for me anymore. But even worse, my ex, who I am still really close with asked me back out. Should I try again with the ex or should I stay and see if this new relationship develops?

-Torn between the two

Dear Torn,

Hmmm, what should you do? It is kind of a guess, don’t you think? You are looking for advice, and I really know nothing about these individuals, or the quality of your relationship with them. Having said that, my advice as a rule, is to never be afraid to try something new!
Though this advice may be better applied to a new cuisine or hairstyle, it holds some weight in dealing with relationships. You can try to rekindle something that once failed, or learn something about another individual. Sure it is usually much easier to do something you know, but Prince Charming maybe the next person that walks into your life.
Torn, if you are not satisfied with this answer, let me tell you about this story of a friend of mine. This girl dated her boyfriend, forever, almost an eternity. She breaks up with the boyfriend, tries the dating scene for a year, and met a few other potentials. In the end she returns to the boy realizing, he is the one and only one she ever really wanted.
How does this story apply to you, you might ask? When presented with the opportunity of getting back with the boyfriend, she wanted to be with him; it wasn’t a toss up between him and another unknown. To me, that should be a sign for you not to settle with the old reliable.

I, personally, am an aficionada for Robert Frost.
“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,…”

And for you, Torn,
that might make all the difference!

Best of Luck,

Dear torn,

The answer to this questions hangs on one very important question of my own. Why did you and the ex break up in the first place??
Did he dump you, or the other way around? See, if you guys broke up because you were just growing apart and/or you did not think the relationship was worthwhile, then what would be the point of returning to that situation. If the break up was for some other reason, then mayne now you huys can try again. The other guy really should not enter in to your decesion about the ex.
Just do not fall into the trap of radiating towards him because its “familiar.” When relationships exist out of convinience, nobody wins.

~ Ricky


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