She said; He said

By on October 16, 2003

Dear S n R-

I am currently in a very awkward relationship. I have been going out with my boyfriend for a little over five months. When we started going out, I thought the relationship was meant to be. But as time went on, I found out how different we view the world. Then all of a sudden another guy blew me off my feet. This guy is the nicest person I have even meet. Now my heart is tearing me in two different directions. Should I stay with my boyfriend and try to work it out or should I move towards the first person that has ever really captured my heart at first meeting?

-Blown Away but still holding

Dear Blown Away,

How many people have walked in and then out of your life, and you have been affected?
The reason I ask you is because people are quick to say they have met the most amazing person, the one and only, Mr. (or Mrs.) Right, and then months later in hindsight, such an individual has had a flaw, and was cast aside. This is what your story sounds like, but then again I do not know you personally.
As college students, young Americans, it is ingrained in our mentality if there is something better, go for it! Without realizing it, we are constantly trying to upgrade our lives, hoping to fulfill our desire for the best.
While this being said, I believe my theory applies to relationships, boyfriends, girlfriends and hook-ups. If you can do better, why not?
You feel this boyfriend of five months and you are not so hot anymore. So what is a girl to do? End it! If you think the two of you have grown apart and cannot reconcile such differences, well there is no band of gold on your finger.
Try not to break his heart; let him down easy.
If you convinced this other guy is worth your time, then invest in this commodity. This time take it slow. There is no reason to rush this relationship. If he were worth it, he would understand you are coming out of something and time to clear your head may be helpful. May this new man sweep you off your feet, but bring a parachute, just in case you need an emergency landing.

Dear Blown Away-

Why must five month relationships be thought of as common law marriages? If things do not work out, or you find someone you are more compatible with, then you are free to explore that option.
That is the whole idea of dating. I recently had a discussion with a friend, who pointed out that all realtionships end in breakups, unless they end in marriage. That is an overwhelming ratio of breakups to non-breakups.
My point is, if you feel like you are growing apart from your current boyfriend, do not feel obligated to turn your back on something that can potentially make you really happy.
On the other hand, it may be in your best interest to spend some more time with this new guy. Sometimes when you have been in a relationship for a while and suddenly someone new comes along they seem a lot better than they really are just becuse they are new and exciting.
I think to be fair to yourself, you should talk to the new guy a little more and see if the strong connection remains. If so, take charge and do what is right for you. Sometimes you have to hurt other people in order to make yourself happy.

—– Ricky


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