She said; He said

By on October 9, 2003

Dear Shelly and Ricky-
My best friend and I met this girl at the same time. She is an amazing girl and I think she would be perfect for me, but my friend likes her to. We both swore to each other, that neither one of us would ask her out. But, this girl is really coming on to me and I want to do something about it? Should I break the guy code and just go for this fine piece.
—-Wanting to Make a Move

Dear Friendless,

That is what you will be if you break your word and go for this prospective girl. She might be perfect in every way, a goddess in your eyes. But if vowed to your best friend, you are going to loose much more then you could ever win with her.
You may find this bit of advice surprising coming from a girl herself, maybe Ricky would have better advice on the male society, rules, codes and ethics. But just think of it this way, I coming from the other side, am telling you that breaking the trusting bond between you and your best friend is not worth any supermodel (we are not pieces, you jerk)!
Why would you want to jeopardize your long- standing friendship?
Best friends cannot be easily replaced. The reality is, this is not the t.v. show, Friends. Ross barely reacted to Joey scoring on Rachel; your best friend may not be so level headed.
I might be exaggerating this whole scenario and your friend will not care! Run it by him. Maybe he has accepted her interest in you, and he’ll give you the thumbs up.


Dear Scared,

Should you break the code? No. Are you going to break the code? Yes.
I try to be as honest and real as possible in this column, and with that, I refuse to give you the advice that most people want to hear because we all know what the “right thing to do” is in this situation, but given the fact that we do not live in La La Land, I think instead, I will give you advice that will actually be useful.
We both know that it is not a matter of if you are going to hook up with this girl, it s a matter of when and under what circumstances. That is just the truth, and it is no fault of your own.
You are but one man fighting against thousands of years of evolution. Your only hope is to make the whole matter as painless as possible for you and your buddy. I offer these ideas to help with that:
1. The lawyer in me cannot help but notice that you said you swore you would not ask her out, not that you would not say yes if she asked you out. It is not your fault that she cannot help but want you……………right? Your buddy might be ticked off, but at least you kept your word. Have fun having your cake and eating it too.
2. Under no circumstances ask him permission to break the pact. He will say no and when you still go ahead and do it, it will be even worse. Better, let things happen and go to your buddy and tell him immediately what happened. Explain to him that it sort of “just happened” and you feel terrible. At this point you have the option of saying, “It wont ever happen again” if you do not want to see her, or “but I think I really like her” if you wanna do it again.
I know that this is devious advice, but he would probably do the same thing to you if she wanted him. The great thing about guys is that, no matter what, by the next time he hooks up he will have completely forgiven you and you guys can watch Monday Night Football in peace.

—- Ricky


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