Can we really just be friends

By on October 2, 2003

The age-old question of whether or not guys and girls can have platonic friendships has been brought up in many aspects of entertainment, from movies to music, and has been discussed in great depth.

Some students think guys and girls always feel a sexual attraction, even if they do not explore it.

“My theory is that guys and girls, whether they say they are friends or not, will always judge each other, whether they want to have sex with them or not. A girl may be different, but a guy can never really be friends with a girl,” said junior Michael Berk.

“I don’t think it’s possible for a boy and a girl to be extremely good friends and not have feelings for each other, from my personal experience. You can be friends with someone, but if you want to be close friends, it’s not going to happen without any feelings,” said Michelle Lapidos, freshman.

Sophomore Heather Truchelut said “I’d say there is always a sexual attraction. There’s always feelings involved, there’s always chemistry. You like their personality and think of them as someone you would potentially date.”

“I think that guys and girls can only be just friends if they had no attraction to the other whatsoever. However, I feel that in the long run after you get to know someone long enough I don’t see why that “friend” can’t eventually be more than a friend,” said sophomore Mickey Katz. “I think that after [a bad hook-up] both friends don’t want to tell the other so they stay good friends because they know that the other option is pretty much out the window, unless they want another disappointing night.”

Others say that a platonic friendship is possible.

“My opinion is yes, it’s all between the people. It’s the effort the guy and the girl put into it. If they want to be friends and not worry about anything else, they will and if they want to be more they will. It’s all between themselves and what action they take,” said Darrin Rosenberg, sophomore.

Freshman Scott Wormser and Junior Beth Lupinski feel a strong friendship is better than a relationship.

“Yes because I’m the type of guy that wants a long lasting friend instead of a one night stand,” said Wormser.

“Definitely. Sometimes I think it’s easier to be friends with a guy than a girl,” said Lupinski.

Some find current or past relationships help to differentiate friends and couples.

“Yes. Guys and girls can be just friends for many reasons because there’s not always a sexual attraction between them. I have a lot of guy friends at home that I would never be sexually attracted to, plus I have a boyfriend,” said Lauren Jensen, sophomore.

“I think girls and guys can definitely be just friends because the guy you are friends with can be friends with someone you used to date, and because of that, you would never be sexually attracted to them,” said Christina Fazzari, sophomore. “I dated someone for 4 1/2 years and I am very close friends with some of my ex-boyfriend’s friends, and I would never be sexually attracted to them.”

“I think guys and girls can definitely be just friends if one or both have a significant other somewhere else, because if they are both single there is a chance of having feelings for the other person and then attempting to do something about it, and that could lead to a significant fall in the relationship,” said sophomore Matt Looney.

“I definitely think guys and girls can just be friends. For example, I have tons of guy friends who I’ve met because we share the same interests and are involved in the same activities in school,” said sophomore Laurie Seligman.

“We hang out all the time and just have a great time together. I have never been romantically involved with any of my close guy friends, and I don’t really feel the need to be. If I am looking for a boyfriend, chances are I wouldn’t even think about looking in my circle of guy friends.”


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