She said; He said

By on September 4, 2003

Dear Shelly and Ricky-

I just got to Quinnipiac and I love it here. I have met so many great people already, but I also came in knowing a few. My boyfriend is actually a sophomore here. I know what you are thinking, I followed my boyfriend to college, but I really didn’t. I actually think I want to break up with him so I can explore the other options of college life. We have been going out for two and a half years and I love him so much. Do you think I should break up with him for the unknown?

– Tempted in Commons

Dear Tempted,

If everything you have told us is true, I am confused why someone who is in love with her boyfriend would want to dispose of such a relationship. To tell you straight forward, most people ask me advice for two reasons -one if they should attempt the long distance relationship, and two if they should end a relationship based on their fading feelings for their partner. You have the benefit of both aspects, and yet you want to add confusion in your life.

There is perfect reason for your concern. Your relationship has become stale, and are no longer interested in pursuing this relationship, but you and the ex are confined to the same institution and friends. But if you love this man, than why test the waters of the unknown? I feel too many people our age are scared to settle into a committed relationship, and are quick to expend a compatible one. It is true that there may be someone else out there right for you, who is not your current boyfriend. But remember the reality, that there are also a whole species of the male race, that is not interested, not able to commit, taken, or wanting you for just an evening. The complication of the 35 to 65 male to female ratio only strengthens my point!

The reason I am advocating a no flee territory is for simply one reason. The founding virtue of a relationship is the quality of trust the couple shares. It is this reason why most relationships crumble, and a fracture in such is near impossible to repair. I forewarn you, if you mention adding space in your current relationship, you may regret this decision later on.

Do whatever you can in your best interest is my advice. You are right, there are many people to meet now that you are in college. There are numerous experiences to be lived, and you choose the people you spend your time with. Do what is needed and try not to destroy anyone in your path. The grass is always greener on the other side of the mountain, but you might just find your pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Best of luck,


Hey Tempted!

Let’s get right to it. Wake up and smell the stench of the Commons hallway. Even if you say you didn’t follow your boyfriend to college, you did. He was here, now you are here.
This poor guy has been watching his friends hook up with every girl under the sun while you have been doing god knows what your senior year back home. You think he would have talked with you for three hours every night in the hallway while you interrogated him about every girls name that was mentioned if he didn’t care about you at least a little bit.
Doesn’t this guy at least deserve to reap the product of all his hard work staying with you. If it’s really not working out, fine, go and test the waters, but don’t come crying back to him when it doesn’t work out. Hell be making up for lost time.



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