Dear Shelly

By on March 27, 2003

Dear Shelly,
My girlfriend has many guy friends, which doesn’t bother me. But I can’t stand it when she flirts and jumps all over them right in front of my face. How do I tell her that this makes me jealous and how can I deal with it?
-Frustrated with her Flirting

Dear Frustrated,
So your lady has several male friends and her warm behavior towards them is getting you heated? Her affectionate mannerisms towards others might be annoying and starting to get to you. My question to you is she still flirting with you?
It is not about competition between you and the other guys. If it were you would have already won, because you have her.
If there is no question of her double dipping with you and another guy, then it is just a minor annoyance. Tell her that it bothers you ; she will get the hint to simmer down. Make it clear that it is fine that she hangs out with her friends as long as she is not hanging onto them.
The flirty nature she has may have been one of the reasons you became attracted to her in the first place. You are an understanding boyfriend, and that is probably one of the qualities your girl appreciates the most about you.
Jealousy is vicious and it can happen to us all. Trust out weighs jealousy in any relationship. If you remember this, then something this petty should not destroy your sturdy relationship.
Best of Luck

Dear Shelly,
While I was home from spring break my best friend and I went to this out of control party. It ends up the host had a younger sibling so there were some high school kids there. Knowing the girl’s young age, my friend hooked up with her anyway. She is a few days from17 and he is 22. We (my other friends and I) have all made fun of him for rocking the cradle, but honestly I have lost respect for him. Should I say anything to him?
-Perplexed by the Pedophile

Dear Perplexed,
I am not sure how putting your two cents in would help the scenario. Hooking up with someone much younger might not fit within your set of morals but he made his decision. The concern you have might be mentally both players may not have been on an even playing field.
What it comes down to is some people think age is just a number. They believe it is not the number of years of existence but experiences and maturity, which dictate age. While others hold this numeral classification as a guideline that should not be crossed if the distance is too great.
There are federal laws established to prevent the sexual abuse of minors, which your friend might have crossed. What should be the determining factor is if both individuals consented to the physical events. In this case it seems like they did, so except for the fact that you want to rag on him for his young pickings, you are better off letting this lie.
If your friend’s behavior does not become a habit, them you have nothing to worry about; he will grow up.
Best of Luck

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