Three little words, so much confusion (and mass hysteria)

By on February 7, 2002

Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching and it seems only fair to mention the guidelines of when and when not to say the three favorite words of the American people- “I love you”.
There are times when the words flow from our lips when they should not, specifically when people are caught in the middle of an intense moment. It seems as though uttering the words or even hearing them makes the action that is taking place acceptable. This is a common trick used by men and women all over the world. Why hasn’t anyone figured out that this is the perfect pick up line while making out with someone?
That is a prime example of the phrase being thrown around listlessly and without thought to what the words may mean. The impact of those words following a ‘a night of action,’ may be a one-sided relationship because the person who heard those words, may believe them and think that there is something more to the hook up than just that.
While the words bring great joy when used and said in the proper moment, saying the words for the mere purpose of hooking up with someone are misleading and inappropriate.
While the words may be exchanged early on in the dating process for most people, honestly, neither one of the people involved truly means what they say when the words are initially said. We think that we are in love because the person we are with takes interest in what we do and how we do it.
It is not until the relationship is tested in the sense of experiencing something that does not normally happen everyday, is when the words truly mean something more than just words that make someone feel good on paper.
We kid ourselves by using the phrase too often. No one falls in love after a few hook ups or even being in a relationship for three months. It takes so much longer to realize that you love someone.
You need to take the time to communicate with that person and in the process take the time to get to know the person intimately, not in the sexual sense, but intellectually, learning their fears, goals and the type of person they are when they are sick, cranky, stressed or in a silly mood. The less shallow the relationship is, the more the words mean when they are said.
Quite frankly, in relationships that have had the time to mature, love is not truly recognized and accepted until it has been lost or is close to being lost.
This is just some food for thought in the days leading to the lover’s holiday.


About Rebecca Tokarz- Managing Edit