Honesty: is it too much to ask for?

By on January 30, 2002

The term honesty is a quality that we all supposedly claim to have in our intimate relationships. But, how many people are truly as honest with their significant other as they claim? Honestly, not as many as you may think. No pun intended.
The truth of the matter is, true honesty is something that exists in only the idealist of worlds, and unfortunately, we do not live in that world. I have found that even the most straightforward and outspoken people are unable to speak up and express their displeasure with their current situation. Some would argue that happens because of the love that one has for their significant other or their friends. However, I find that statement to be lacking in honesty as well.
Not expressing one’s displeasure with another’s actions or telling others and not the intended party, comes as a result of fear; the fear of the repercussions of the words that may begin to flow uncontrollably from one’s mouth. But, I’ve learned from experience that by not telling the truth, problems that are truly minuscule and can easily be worked out, are compounded on top of others until they become too much to bear.
Suppressing these feelings causes resentment and uncomfortable situations, which, if one is not careful, may lead to the culmination of a relationship that you have always claimed to cherish and love. But, if you cared that much for that person, why wouldn’t you tell them all of your secrets, wants, desires, dreams, and frustrations. Why would you decide to sabotage something that “means so much to you”?
I have also noticed, more than three or four times in the last month, that sex is seen as a common replacement for honesty. Sex, while an intimate act in its own right, is far from the intimacy that can be shared between two people when they openly and honestly communicate with one another. The connection that is formed from communicating is something that should be far more cherished than any “good” sexual encounter. I am a firm believer that successful verbal communication leads to a more physically intimate relationship.
Friends, family, boyfriends and girlfriends are supposed to love you for the person you are, not the fa


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